PROJECT HOUSE : Fixing Before Leaving (Again).

July 14, 2017

"Can we paint those walls outside Kak? This house looks like haunted house from outside," 
- Vinca, 22, maybe single.


Let me tell you the story of our house. When I was kid, I lived in rented house for years before my mom decided to buy house under her name (behind my dad's back, of course, hahaha). Because my dad always believe that we won't stay forever in Batam Island, he wanted us to move to his family house (read: my grandma's house, which is HIS, but.. it's where my grandma's lived).

Besides, we moved from Merauke, to West Java, then to Batam because dad decided to work in Singapore, not far away in Middle East or Rusia or Hongkong like he used to be when he was still single. But sometimes he went to Malaysia, Thailand or Vietnam too. He said that he wanted to be closer to his family, then bring my mom from West Java to Batam. (This explain a lot about my stamps collections from all over the place that my dad went before, I always asked for stamps... If I knew that they sell postcard too, then I will ask him to bring me postcard and foreign currency along with those stamps).

It was roughly 6 years we lived in rented houses. I love the neighborhood, and I was a free child. Morning at school, afternoon at small park played with other kids or cycled our bicycles. Oh, yes, I always skipping the nap time and sneaked in to the garden then jumped out our fence. I did get scold a lot from my mother, but I love playing outside than take a nap. (Now, I prefer nap... long, long, long hours of nap).

He was so furious at my mom when he found out that mom's buying house in Batam. He told her it's unnecessary. But mom always know best. So, let me tell you about mom's logic, at least my mom's logics.

  • When you marry someone, dumb impatient single men but he makes a lots of money, do not let him throw away money only for party (Trust me, he did that A LOT). Help him saving for his mother, his family (especially when he is the oldest brother, older sibling tend to be the man of the family and take care of their younger siblings). This include sign up for children's education fund (my mom asked my dad to signed Allianz Insurance for my education fund plan, help a lot) and buying property under her name.
  • Why under her name? First, dad will be upset if he knows (it's like a world war III when he found out, I remember). Second, Dad was working overseas, he didn't have time to take care all the paper works. He always hate it dealing with people and paper works, so he tend to pay other guy to make it done faster  (Yeah, definitely impatient and this is not good for cost saving efficient). Third, if there will be other bitches who will try to ruin everything, then the house is safe for the children still. 
  • My mom's logic include : Boys will always be boys and you'll never know. First they will tell you that the moon and the star are yours then next day, he will be missing. Just help him to be responsible in 'other ways' as providing and secure on what's important first. Yes, this include let him go with other bitches if he wanted to, but always let him know that the key is still under the doormat. 
  • Boys will love their children but sometimes doesn't know how to love them properly. Other bitches sometimes don't know how to do it better too, unless it's theirs. But they can always try.
  • I believe in you, but not them.

Really long story short. Have nothing to everything then in the end of the day we moved back to my mom's house. 

Honestly, when we have to move from my rented house to our first house, I feel so lonely because I have no friends in the new neighborhood, so I prefer to be at school longer and maybe just stay at room 24 hours, watching MTV and reading comic, manga, or novels or take a course after school and more study.

But it was peaceful. I still had my balance.

draft for master plan

Then after mom left. Dad bought new house, the better one in an instant. I didn't even know he had a lot of money. He always said no to everything I wanted then I don't remember when exactly I never really want anything from anyone. Because I'm tired of asking if I already know the answer would be always NO.

I really didn't want to move to other place even it's more better. But then I had to join them, nothing really changed but I just wanted to be far away. I got accepted to Rafless Design Institute in Singapore, but dad said he won't let me become Fashion Designers (too bad), he wanted me to become like him and sign up for Marine-Merchant Academy in Jakarta or Makassar. 

He was like, I have friends in bla bla bla... I think you can get in... bla bla bla...

Of course I said NO... Are you crazy? Me, going to Marine? Me, working on a ship as a captain ? 
NO WAY MAN... 너 미쳤어?)

I am more attracted to arts and anything beautiful and weird that isn't related to Marine Academy. So, the next day, I just choose to go to study communications at Uni, and threaten my dad with my letter of acceptance from the university.

"Hey, I got accepted. If you don't let me go this time, I will go to my mom, and covert to Muslim, and marry some guy from the village. Then the next year, probably I will become mother too. And there's no way I'm going to Marine Academy. Not now, not ever!"

Then I finally free... until they asked me to come 'home'.

I was really happy to live alone. And I found my own home, which is my best friends, my routine and everything else that's far away from Batam.

There's nothing left for me there...



But then you're growing up. You should know what's the difference of freedom of youth and truly living your life without regrets. I decided to come back, giving all of them second chances. It never always works but it went in an okay way so far.

Long story short, we moved back to our first house which is my mom's and it's like haunted house ^_^ because we didn't live there for long time. Everything in there is old.

When Miranda don't want to move in with Steve, because Steve lives in Brooklyn.

I never wanted to stay in Batam, but right now I guess the right decision is to stay. And in order for making me stay, I need to fix them, so when I'm gone, things are okay too, even without me.

It's like when I left past relationship, I have to have disclosure, full disclosure.
Or when I left for my past job, I need to fix the system and make sure people know how to get it done without me.

Like Nanny McPhee," There is something you should understand about the way I work. When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go. It's rather sad, really, but there it is."





roughly calculations for the needs of how much (kg) or (lt) paint that I need for living room. You gotta be cost effective for everything. ^_^

Now I need to save some money for this whole project. I might start to look for best places to shop first.  Give it a year? Okay then, will be starting on August, after my vacation.


Kasih.


Slowly, slowly...
One step at a time...
Slowly...

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